Tuchel's Folly
England Go Out To Argentina in a Stunning Reversal - As It Happened
England and Argentina, in Atlanta’s Mercedes-Benz Stadium, vying for the right to get blanked by Spain! Let’s get to it.
I just realize why the semifinals are being played in this insane 3:00pm EST timeslot - FOX, the network that has made soccer its monopolistic domain in the American market, was forced to put its first semifinal (France : Spain) in the afternoon so as to not conflict with the MLB All-Star Game that evening, which it also holds exclusive rights to, and the second semifinal could not be more than 24 hours separated from the first. This, of course, makes me incredibly angry.
“God Save the King” doesn’t properly come through on the PA, and English fans and players are reduced to singing acapella. England already start out at a disadvantage.
Giuliano Simeone, son of Diego - the same one who got David Beckham sent off in 1998 with theatrical thrashing on the ground that would have earned a “mistaken identity” yellow card VAR ruling today, is starting for Argentina on the right wing. A troll move if ever I saw one. Argentina are advertising exactly what kind of game they are looking to play. The game proves to be a messy affair, lots of fouls, lots of testy provocations.
Djed Spence is looking lively down the left side. England is getting down each sideline with relative ease, but can’t do much with the opportunities besides give Dibu Martinez some practice catching low balls. England are also pretty successful at forcing midfield turnovers from the Argentines. So far Elliot Anderson is looking like their best player, as he is making life difficult for the great Messi.
Mick Jagger is briefly shown on screen, chalantly1 lounging in his luxury suite, as the network tries to hammer home the point that “famous people are really into soccer, so you should be, too!” What, Olivia Rodrigo lost interest and stopped showing up? Jagger is the personification of “I want to see them win before I die”, although technically he has. Not died, I mean seen England win. Maybe both, actually.
MLS wants us to know that they “can kick it”. I wonder how much time after the end of the WC they will give Messi, the featured star of this ad campaign, before he has to resume playing again for FC Miami, in Miami. The other recognizable star of the ad, Son Heung-min of LA FC, on the other hand, has had plenty of time to rest.
England win a free kick from just outside the corner of the box, after a sustained spell of pressure in the Argentina sideline corner. A cross turned direct shot is parried away by Martinez, leading to an Argentina fast break, a foul on Messi, and a shot that fizzles over Jordan Pickford’s bar. Otherwise, a defensive rock-fight. There is a feeling that this is the game England wants to play, but Argentina are not bad at it either. Half ends at nil-nil, with a yellow card apiece.
Second half begins, Julian Alvarez gets a shot off and forces a save from Pickford. While Argentina are beginning to stir, England are holding firm.
And Anthony Gordon scores! Morgan Rodgers gets a long ball down the right, briefly loses then regains it with help from Declan Rice, and fizzes a diagonal cross across the face of goal for Gordon to tap-volley in at the far post! And this just as I was about to demand that Rodgers be subbed out for Bukayo Saka. OK now, then let’s sub out Bellingham and Kane.
With 72 minutes remaining, Konsa, a defender, comes on for Gordon, signifying that England intends to go to full lockdown mode, positioning itself to absorb wave after wave of attacks from Argentina. I think this is a mistake - Argentina is now free to press forward without being forced to defend. Argentina’s weakness is defending the flanks, and now Thomas Tuchel has given them permission to ignore that part of their game and instead focus on pouring forward on offense.
And guess what? The wave after wave of pressure indeed comes to pass, and Argentina scores on a long-range lightning bolt from Enzo Fernandez, assisted by Messi. Argentina was pushing most of its players way forward, not concerning itself about the rear, and proceeded to possess the ball for like, 90% of the last quarter of the game. Shot after shot assail Pickford’s goalmouth - a point-blank header saved, another off the post, a shot fizzed over the bar, another just wide. Pickford is standing on his head, trying and failing to keep his head above water, screaming at his mates, who have no answers. England are crumbling before our eyes.
Predictably, Argentina scores again. Lautaro Martinez, who just came on, thumps in a free header between Stones and Konsa, off another ball into the box from Messi, after another sustained spell of pressure on the beleaguered England side, who are all sitting behind the ball waiting for the next wave. But now they have no path to counterattack except punting the ball long to the increasingly exhausted and dispirited Kane and Bellingham. They are quickly surrounded and neutralized every time. The introduction of Rashford and Toney is too little, too late, and does nothing to solve the issue, which is that Argentina owned the midfield and England could not manage a controlled pass out of their own half, let alone threaten goal. Meanwhile, Saka remains on the bench.
England are in shambles, and it is painfully obvious that their misery is self-inflicted. They had let Argentina off the hook by going into their defensive shell, and Argentina were more than happy to take advantage. It is quite apparent that Tuchel had planned in advance to park the bus should they be ahead in the second half at any point, and was following the plan to the letter. However, he should have read the flow of the game, and realized that parking the bus would be doing Argentina a huge favor. Defending in numbers and surrendering control of the ball is not a good idea when facing Messi, who can find openings through 20 defenders if given time and space, which was given amply by the English.
Instead of going defensive, I would have substituted Kane with Ollie Watkins, and Rodgers with Saka, and continued to threaten the Argentina wings and backline with speed. Another goal might not have been necessary, as long as they were keeping Argentina’s defenders honest. I would have introduced new defenders only for other defenders, if they were tired. This is not a hindsight pronouncement - I felt misgivings about the strategy unfolding before us as it was happening.
The final whistle blows, and England players stand around in shock and dejection, while children weep and grown men realize that they are living out what several generations of their forebears had gone through in their time.
The blame falls squarely on manager Thomas Tuchel, who was brought in to remedy the negative tactics of Gareth Southgate, who had been otherwise wildly successful2. Tuchel failed to be any more positive than his predecessor, altough he brought England perhaps a smidge further along than where they had reached in 2018 - the semifinals just the same, and losing by the same score, but scoring first and having a real chance to take it this time. That last part makes it all the more painful. I fully expect him to be sacked, unless there were extenuating circumstances or he shows some indication that he knows how to improve on this performance.
What is next for England? (Besides the 3rd place game.3 So we do get Agincourt - or whatever metaphorical Anglo-French conflict of your choice - after all.) For the most part (except for Kane, Stones, and Henderson), the core of England are young, and will be generally successful for a long time. At the same time, other powers such as Portugal and France are aging and are likely to decline. Here’s hoping England can get it together - and keep it together - for the next Euro and the WC following that.
Argentina pull through after being given a lifeline by Tuchel, and the Legend of Messi chugs on. While I had been rooting to see England “Bring it Home” after 60 years, we now get to cheer for the GOAT and his Argentina squad attempting to do something that hasn’t been done for an even longer interval - repeat as World Champions. That would put Messi on a similar level to Pele - who, with Brazil, won back-to-back in 1958 and 1962, as well as in 1970 - in terms of national team accomplishments. Spain stand in their way, the Final Boss of World Football. They are the adversary Messi has prepared his entire professional life to defeat.
The Finals await.
A real word, according to my kids.
With a WC semifinal appearance, a quarterfinal appearance, and two Euro runner-up placements, Southgate is the greatest England manager in history save Alf Ramsey, the architect of the 1966 champions.
Maybe Kane or Bellingham can make a bid to catch Mbappe and Messi for Golden Boot. Yeah, right.